My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
