Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
