so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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