does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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