Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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