the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
