he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
