Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
