I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
