I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
