My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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