i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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