I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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