And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
