try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
