were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
