i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
