Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
