Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
