and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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