We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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