I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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