I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
