Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
