Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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