he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize