Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
