I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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