At least make sure they are 18
Why
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
