I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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