Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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