I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
