I wish I only lived at night.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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