In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
