You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
