it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
