I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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