Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
