No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize