do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
