Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
