I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
