Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
