I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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