K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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