In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
