I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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