yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize