so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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