I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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