Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
