i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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