okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize