The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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