Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
