No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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