Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
