is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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