Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
