Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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