i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i was born a porn star she said
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
