the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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