The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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