He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
