how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize